To The Girl Who Is Already In Love

There are versions of you all around me. Often I find myself behaving as one as well.

To the girl who is already in love,

Have you ever stopped to think about the definition of “Love?” Have you ever considered all that the tiny word encompasses? Yes, you say. Yes, you know about the joy, the laughter, the cuddling, the having somebody there when you need it the most and being there in return,  the 2 AM phone calls, the subtle gracefulness that comes from the idea of you, yes you, are loved. It is a lovely thing, no doubt.

But have you ever considered the suffering the term holds?

Love. I want to be with you.

Love. I would willingly suffer for you to be the best you can be.

Love. I would die for you.

Love. I have already died for you.

Yet we reduce ourselves to gentle whispers to ourselves and our silly girly friends, allow our “boy problems” to escalate beyond our control, and offer each other sloping shoulders time and time again as our hearts break by our own ridiculous standards.

To the girl who is already in love, have you struggled?  Have you argued, hurt each other, brought out the worst you can be, fought the difference between love and lust, struggled with the idea that both you and the other can grow individually, not only together?

No, this is not the case for the girl who is already in love.  A near-perfect relationship with nearly no flaws, there is absolutely nothing about your dearly beloved that you could say you simply didn’t like. Not a foul word has ever been uttered from his perfect lips as countless promises are made to each other and the wishy-washy daydream of deep, unchiseled romance becomes a fairy-tale reality. You love each other too much to be apart. You love each other too much to argue, to stick up for yourself, or to say “no”. Can you believe it? You love each other too much to be willing to utter the word “no”.

Has your lover taken your identity or become a part of it? Could you ever be whole without him, could you ever say that you are making each other better as a result of being together? Do you know the meaning of “passion”?

I was told that the best way to love someone completely is to love them not only entirely in who they are, but to love them  as a part of yourself. If you are willing to accept them as a part of you, and your own high standards, then that, perhaps, is love.

It is a bold thing, learning to love someone with all that you are and all that you’re not.

This is a love that advocates for the blood, sweat, and tears, just as Jesus bled, sweat and cried on the cross as the ultimate display of this love nearly 2,000 years ago. It requires pain, work, and not just blissful emotion, but all emotion, raw emotion. This is a love that requires you both to be human.

To the girl who is already in love,

What do you think when I challenge you? Do you even think about this at all? Do you ever think about Him and how He can love you more than anyone else? Do you comprehend your immense value and worth, your irreducible dignity,  your beauty in the eyes of the one who create you? Does he see that beauty?

Do you need to slow down? Breathe a little?

I’m rooting for you.






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